Not Going Anywhere
by GwyneddSilverfighter
Summary: Broken trust and a close call in Valammar have Varric thinking about what he really wants in this weird shit that's called life. Meanwhile, Inquisitor Cadash is sure she's the most unlucky woman to ever have walked on the face of Thedas. Basically my take on the aftermath of Varric's quest "Well, shit".


**A/N: When I played Varric's quest "Well, shit" for the first time, I immediately created a strong disliking for Bianca. You're free to disagree, but I think she's a bitch, and that Varric deserves someone who cares about him with all their heart (because Bianca obviously doesn't, no matter how much she threatened to feed me my own eyeballs at the end of that quest. If she did care, she wouldn't have betrayed Varric's trust by snooping around that thaig where Bartrand's expedition found red lyrium, let alone to tell about it to a stranger.) So I decided to give Varric the happy ending he deserves. Well, not exactly the ending, but the beginning of the ending.**

* * *

Back in Skyhold, Varric leaned against the table in his usual corner and stared at the flames dancing around in the fireplace without actually seeing them. He had known that Valammar would end up causing trouble, but this… _shit._

Bianca had been the one who leaked the thaig's location to Corypheus. She may not have done so intentionally, but had he not told her _not_ to breathe a word about its location to any other soul? He remembered making her swear to keep silent, and yet she had talked. And since she wouldn't have known had he not told her, in the end it was his fault Corypheus had got his hands on that red lyrium source, just like it was his fault that Corypheus was at large in the first place, instead of being locked up in that Warden prison where he and Hawke had found him.

It was his fault, all of it.

And as if that hadn't been enough, Dimples had got hurt while they had been following Bianca's "lead". She had thrown herself between him and a blade that had been about to cut him through. But that was Mirtai Cadash for you; always ready to risk her own life to save that of others' without a moment's thought. He had always thought there was no room in Carta for such a selfless person, but she had proved him wrong. And she had not only been a member of the Carta, but her father was _leading_ one Carta cell, and she was supposed to inherit that cell sooner rather than later.

And how close had they been to losing such a rare good-hearted person… Had Chuckles not been there with his healing magic, it would've been bad. Even with the way things had turned out Varric had difficulties banishing memories of Dimples lying in a rapidly growing pool of blood.

 _"_ _Hey, hey Dimples, look at me." He muttered, pressing his hands more tightly over the massively bleeding wound three inches above her right hip. "Stay with me."_

 _"_ _Don't worry Varric", she whispered back with a chuckle broken by the pain she was obviously in. "You still haven't signed my copy of_ Hard in Hightown _, so I'm not going anywhere."_

Varric shook his head, partly to get rid of the memory and partly because of the memory itself. He would rather die than admit it out loud, but he had been scared back there. Scared for her.

And he could still remember the time when he had been just as scared whenever Bianca had been hurt, much less lethally so.

Now he had barely spared a second glance at the small cut close to Bianca's right eye. At the time he had reasoned that it had been so because Dimples was a dear friend and had been much more lethally hurt by the time, but now…

"Varric?"

He didn't need to turn to recognise the voice – he would recognise it anywhere – but he turned his head to look at her anyway and there she was, her strawberry blonde hair shining intriguingly in the light flames created. She still hadn't changed out of her leather armour, and Varric could easily – too easily – find the rip where the offending blade had cut through. The leather was darker around the cut, and when Varric realised it was a stain caused by _her blood_ , he felt like someone had punched his guts with a stone fist.

 _My fault._

"I'm glad to have answers, but… _shit_." He said, the last word coming out as a sharp hiss, when Dimples came to lean against the table not far from him. "The second she showed up here, I knew. I just…" He paused and glanced at the former Carta heiress next to him only to see her attentive sea-blue eyes focused on him and, just like for some time now, seeing that look made his stomach flip in cartwheels once again.

"I let this mess happen", he sighed. "I gave her the thaig." _I almost got you killed._ "And I'm not good at dealing with shit like this."

"I don't think any of us is any better equipped than you are." Dimples whispered, laying her hand gently, almost hesitantly, on top of Varric's. A touch that felt very much like getting hit by one of Sparkler's spells. "It's not your fault, Varric, and you cannot make it be so by blaming yourself."

"No, no! The point is… I don't. I don't deal with things." Varric shot back, her hand slipping from on top of his when he threw his hands up in a frustrated gesture. "If Cassandra hadn't dragged me here, I'd be in Kirkwall right now, pretending none of this was happening."

"You know what? I doubt it." Dimples said gently. "The way you have been blaming yourself for Corypheus being free, I think you would've packed your things the moment the news of him reached Kirkwall, arriving here and _demanding_ that we let you help. You see, when you try so hard to pretend you don't care, the only reason for that would be that you try to hide how much you actually _do_ care. So others couldn't use it to hurt you."

He stayed silent, wondering how close to home she had actually hit.

"You can't hide from me, Varric." She laughed, revealing those little dimples he had nicknamed her for. "I was a member of the Carta, remember? Been there, done that."

"Keep thinking so, Dimples, if it makes you feel better." He said, though this time his heart wasn't fully involved in the jest. "But honestly, thank you. For your help back there. It really meant a lot to me."

"Any time, Varric." Dimples replied, flashing him a smile, dimples and all. Then, after a short moment of hesitation, she asked: "after all this, do you think you'll see Bianca again?"

 _"_ _Oh for pity's sake, would you two just get a room?"_

He remembered the bitterness in her voice when she had cut off his fight with Bianca back in Valammar. How could he forget, when it had been so unexpected back then? And now he noticed that same bitterness in her voice, though she almost managed to hide it this time.

"I don't know." He sighed. "Had she done almost anything else, my reply would've been 'I always do', but now… I honestly don't know."

"Well, if you ever feel like, you know, like you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Dimples." Varric said, offering her half a smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

"You do that." She replied, laying her hand briefly on Varric's shoulder as she left. He watched her walk through the hall, exchanging a few words with this or that Orlesian noble on the way before disappearing through the door that led to the undercroft. Not too long later, Curly slipped through the same door. This was, what, fifth time in the last two months, the first time being right after Dimples had returned from Emprise du Lion. He had a strong gut feeling that it all had something to do with those letters Dimples had collected from the mine; since both Samson and Curly had been templars in Kirkwall, it'd only make sense.

Some time later Curly and Dimples left the undercroft, the Commander going outside – probably to inspect the training of some recruits or something just as military – and the Inquisitor crossing the hall, nodding to the two guards that saluted her before she slipped through the door that led to her personal quarters atop the highest tower in Skyhold.

She was something, Inquisitor Cadash, she certainly was.

She reminded Varric of the time he had met Bianca. The two women couldn't be more different, but in Varric's head they were so similar. Two clever and cunning women, with an ability to turn almost anything into a success.

He felt… torn.

For fifteen years he had thought he knew what he wanted, but now…

He sighed and turned to look at the flames again.

 _This shit is_ so _weird._

* * *

 _"_ _Oh for pity's sake, would you two just get a room?"_

 _Tired of the other two dwarves' bickering, the words spoken in voice bitter with jealousy slipped from her lips before she could stop herself. Mirtai had been falling for the storyteller for a long while, not too badly discouraged by the fact that Varric seemed to think of her occasional flirting as a playful thing._

 _But now, as she watched the other two fight like a married couple, she knew._

 _"_ _Sorry, Inquisitor", Varric sighed, all that angry fire seeming to suddenly leave him, saying a few more words to Bianca before leaving the room. Blackwall and Solas chose to leave in his wake, leaving Mirtai alone with Bianca._

 _"_ _Get him killed, and I'll feed you your own eyeballs, Inquisitor." The older woman said before turning to leave._

 _Mirtai, though, was having none of it._

 _"_ _I should have my men take you in, what with you having leaked the thaig to Corypheus and all." She growled, stepping in the way of the half-a-head-taller dwarf. "I really should. But I'm not going to do that, for Varric's sake."_

 _"_ _Oh, so you_ do _have some tact after all."_

 _"_ _Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this because of your_ fling _with him. I think you're an utter bitch not even close to be worthy of his attention. I'm doing this because I'm his friend and do not wish to see him suffer any more because of this shit. Something that you should do, too."_

 _"_ _And by this you mean…?"_

 _"_ _The best thing you could do for Varric is to walk out of his life and never return. I gather you have someone else warming your sheets, too? Go play your games with him and leave Varric alone."_

 _"_ _So that he could run to you for comfort, I wager? Isn't that rather selfish?"_

 _"_ _I don't care who he would run for comfort to, nor if he ran to anyone at all." Mirtai lied with careful neutrality she had learned in her years in the Carta. The truth was, she_ did _hope that Varric would come to her. "Like I already said, I'm his friend, and I wish he could be happy. And he certainly is not happy with you."_

 _Then she walked off before Bianca had chance to say anything, let alone to call her bluff._

Mirtai sighed and ran both her hands through her hair. She was supposed to read Dagna's full report on her latest progress on finding some weakness in that walking fortress that was Samson's armour – and Ancestors knew she needed to read it; Dagna had explained it all, but the Arcanist had talked so _quickly_ and used so many words that Mirtai had never heard before that she had turned to exchange looks with Cullen, only to see that the Commander looked just as bemused as she felt – but she found herself unable to banish the recent events of Valammar out of her head.

She should've known better than to let herself fall for Varric, she should've known from the very moment she heard he had named his crossbow _Bianca_. But he was so… _charming_ , and he had never exactly rejected her subtle flirting. So she had allowed herself to hope, to hope that one day Varric might see her like she saw him, only to have all her hopes crushed.

She sighed again and pushed her chair away from the table, leaving the report on the table as she stepped out on the balcony. It was a beautiful day, as close to a perfect spring day as a day can get.

Usually weather like that would've raised her spirits high; she loved the way everything came to life after the cold winter. Today, however, Mirtai found no joy in the perfect weather. She would've felt more like home if it was raining. That would've fit her mood perfectly.

"Shit", she muttered as she rested her head against the cool marble railing, her feet dangling above the emptiness below her. "Why it's _always_ got to be me?"

* * *

"Dimples?"

Mirtai startled awake and then groaned in discomfort when her stiff muscles protested against the sudden movement.

"Varric, what're you doing here?" She muttered sleepily. Then, taking note of the dusk that had already settled in, she asked another question. "How long I've been asleep?"

"Depends on how long you worked on those reports before deciding to come out here for a nap." Varric replied. "I saw you slip up into this tower of yours around six hours ago. As for me being up here… you said I could search you out if I needed someone to talk to."

"Of course", Mirtai said and stood up, hissing sharply when the muscles in her neck suddenly cramped painfully.

"Looks like you've slept a better part of those six hours." Varric noted, and for a second Mirtai thought she could hear a hint of genuine concern in his voice. "Come, let's get you out of that armour, and then I can help you get rid of that tension your little nap has gifted you."

"Varric, there's no need, I'll just…" _Suffer it alone._

"Suffer it alone?" He guessed, echoing Mirtai's thoughts. "Don't be ridiculous. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't help a damsel in distress?"

"I'm hardly a 'damsel in distress', though, or what do you think?"

Her comment made Varric laugh. It was a deep sound, soft, gentle and just so… _genuine_. So happy.

She loved his laughter.

"No, you're hardly any kind of a damsel." He laughed. "More like one hell of a badass princess."

"Badass princess… I kind of like the sound of that." Mirtai mused as she stepped back into her room with Varric and closed the doors leading to the balcony.

"Knew you would", Varric laughed. "Here, let me help you with those buckles."

"It's alright, I can ma–" The end of Mirtai's sentence turned into a sharp hiss of pain when muscles in her neck protested against her trying to reach one of the said buckles.

"Ready to admit defeat?"

Mirtai sighed and nodded, giving Varric permission to help with her armour.

"I'll have to remember to commission Harritt with a new armour", Mirtai said lightly, mainly to distract herself from the proximity of Varric's body to hers. "Even if the tear was reparable, which I have doubts of, that bloodstain has already ruined it."

Right after the words had left her mouth, she felt Varric tense behind her.

 _Way to go, Dimples._ She mentally scolded herself. _The screw-up of the year -award acquired._

"I… I'm sorry, Mirtai." Varric sighed, and Mirtai noticed his unusual usage of her given name.

"Hey, Varric, you've got nothing to be sorry for." Mirtai said, turning around so that she had eye contact with the other dwarf.

"Nothing to be sorry for? Mirtai, you almost _died_ , all because I was too idiot to acknowledge what was really going on!"

"Varric, I'm alright", Mirtai said, laying her hands on Varric's shoulders. "Solas fixed me up so well that I didn't even get a scar. Besides, we would've had to investigate that lead even if we had known Bianca was the leak, _and_ knowing that wouldn't have made us any more ready for the fight."

"But that blow was meant for _me_ –"

" _And_ I wouldn't hesitate to do it again."

Those words managed to do something Mirtai had thought must be impossible; had Varric speechless.

"Why?" He asked when he finally found his voice again. "Why would you risk your life for a compulsive liar like me?"

"You're not a liar, you just exaggerate things. And haven't you said it yourself that it's not a good story it's not at least a little bit exaggerated?" Mirtai countered with a small smile.

"So you think I'm not a liar, huh?"

"Varric, I was in the _Carta_ , remember? It takes one to know one, and I can easily tell that you've not got what it takes to be a compulsive liar."

"Jeez, thanks a lot, Dimples." Varric chuckled as he undid the last buckle in her armour.

"You're welcome", Mirtai replied happily, taking note of his usage of her nickname again. She then shed off the leather armour and threw it in a nearby corner, quickly followed by the white linen shirt she had worn underneath her armour and had now cut off with one of her throwing knives.

" _That_ one could've been salvaged, don't you think?" Varric muttered sarcastically, though Mirtai noticed there was a forced edge to it.

"I couldn't pull it over my head, stiff as I am now, so why bother?" Mirtai replied airily. "It's not like that was my only linen shirt."

Deep down, she was glad that the corset she used in place of simple bindings was black; the bloodstain wasn't as noticeable as it was on white fabric.

And at that very moment she suddenly realised that she was standing in front of Varric wearing almost nothing waist-up. She tried to act nonchalant about it, of course, because that was how she was _supposed_ to be right now, praying to the Ancestors that the burning of her cheeks didn't mean that her face was bright red.

"So…" She began, not daring to continue in fear that she'd sound terribly awkward.

"The massage", Varric finished for her. "But you need to take that corset off, too, you know."

"Of – of course." Mirtai replied, her cheeks burning even hotter. "Would you, uh, mind helping a bit more?"

"Not at all", Varric nodded and Mirtai turned around, allowing him access to the laces of her corset.

Mirtai stayed very still while Varric worked on her laces, kept reminding herself to stay casual because this was _not_ one of those daydreams of hers where –

Suddenly Mirtai felt one of Varric's fingers brush briefly against the bare skin on her back, and that alone was enough to make shivers run through her spine.

"Are you cold?" Varric asked, having obviously noticed her shivering.

"N-uh, yeah, a little", Mirtai stammered.

In truth, the part of her skin that Varric had accidentally brushed against was tingling warmly.

"Alright", he said, "I'm ready just about… now, so you go and make yourself comfortable on that bed of yours while I add a few more logs to the fire."

Mirtai nodded and, after making sure Varric was not looking at her, dropped her corset on the floor and laid down on her bed.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

Mirtai turned her head enough to see Varric poke the fire one last time before walking over to her bed, grabbing a cushion from the couch on his way. She was just about to ask what the cushion was for when Varric set the thing on her lower back and sat on top of it.

 _Oh sweet Ancestors… I'm not going to survive this._ Mirtai thought, barely able to hold down another shiver.

"Relax, Dimples", Varric chuckled. "This isn't going to work if you go playing a bow string."

 _How am I supposed to relax when you're straddling me?_

She did her best, though, and Varric started untangling the knots in her muscles.

"So… was there something you wanted to talk aboOOUCH!" Mirtai's question was turned into a shout of pain when Varric's thumb found an especially tight knot near her left shoulder blade.

"We can talk about that in a moment." Varric replied. "For now you can just relax."

"It's alright, I can –"

"Really, Dimples", Varric laughed. "When _was_ the last time you've allowed yourself to forget about the responsibilities and loosen up?"

"Err… before the Conclave exploded?" Mirtai offered sheepishly after a moment of pondering, earning an exasperated snort from Varric.

"It'd seem that it's a high time, then."

Mirtai chuckled and did her best to really relax, going as far as to closing her eyes. After a moment she found the calmness in which she could enjoy the feeling of Varric's palms sliding across her skin, and a silence surrounded the two dwarves.

"There", Varric spoke up after a good while. "Feel any better?"

Mirtai rolled her shoulders and nodded.

"Much better", she replied. "Thank you, Varric. You really didn't have to."

"Say nothing about it, Dimples", Varric waved her thanks off as he hopped off of her back. "The pleasure's all mine."

"Maybe not _all_ yours…" Mirtai muttered quietly, quietly enough for Varric not to hear, and sat up. Feeling lazy – and since the corset too would need some fixing anyway – she simply bound her breasts before throwing on a loose shirt, grateful that Varric was tactful enough to keep his back turned while she got dressed.

"So… now that my little moment of relaxation is over, what did you wish to talk about?" She spoke up, walking over to the couch and sitting down.

Varric's demeanour changed the instant Mirtai had aired her question, his easy-going posture changing into a… not exactly an uneasy but… _uncertain_ one.

"I, uh… well, I'm not exactly good at this, so forgive me for not beating around the bush." Varric said after a moment of hesitating silence. "I sent Bianca a letter. And it may result in her coming back here."

Mirtai let out a slightly questioning "oh", wondering why Varric felt like she needed to know any of this.

"Yeah", Varric nodded. "I sent her a letter telling that we're done, and that if she wanted to hear my reasons face to face then she could come back here, but after that I'd not want to see her again."

"Wait, what?" Mirtai asked, not sure if she had heard him right. "You… _broke up_ with Bianca?"

"Well, we were never _together_ in the literal sense to begin with, but yes, that I did."

"Are you… are you _sure_ you want this?"

"I'm fairly sure." Varric smiled. "See, if there was anything good about Valammar – other than that we managed to cut Corypheus off from his red lyrium source, that is – it was that I realised what I really want from my life."

"And that does not include Bianca?"

"That's right, it doesn't." Varric nodded. "But it… it _could_ include someone else, if she was willing."

"And… and who might she be?" Mirtai asked quietly, almost grimacing at how breathless her voice sounded.

The look Varric gave her then made her heart race in her chest.

"We almost lost you in Valammar when you took that blow for me." He said quietly, the huskiness of his voice sending shivers down Mirtai's spine. " _I_ almost lost you. And… and I realised that I can't. I can't lose you, Mirtai. While… while Chuckles was patching you up I… I decided that if you were to die, then I'd not be leaving Valammar, either."

"Varric…" Mirtai whispered his name, slowly taking in his words. Had he really considered… for _her?_

She had no memory of standing up from where she had been sitting on the couch and crossing the room to where Varric was leaning against her desk, but now she was standing right in front of him, only three inches of empty space between them.

"I was scared, Mirtai", Varric whispered hoarsely, his hand hovering so close to Mirtai's jawbone that she could feel the warmth of his fingers on her skin. "You were there because I had asked, bleeding out because of taking a blow meant for me, and I hadn't told you… I was so afraid I'd not get another chance…"

"I'm here now", Mirtai replied quietly, resting her right hand on Varric's shoulder. "So… what did you wish to tell me?"

"I want you, Mirtai. So… so if you'd have me…" He trailed off when Mirtai placed two of her fingers on top of his lips.

"I'd gladly have you." She whispered.

The radiant smile Varric gave her was the best thing Mirtai had ever seen. She admired that smile for a few seconds before closing the small gap between their bodies, claiming Varric's lips in a gentle kiss. He immediately responded to the kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her even closer.

Mirtai let out a surprised squeak when her legs met the edge of her bed, so intoxicated by Varric's scent that she had no recollection of moving there, and toppled on her back on the mattress. Varric pinned her hands against the mattress on either side of her as he leaned over her and deepened the kiss, giving Mirtai the impression that he had yearned for this just as much as she had.

"I am yours, Varric Tethras." Mirtai whispered against his skin in between their kisses. "I am all yours."

 _I'll be forever yours._

* * *

When Mirtai woke up, she had an arm wrapped around her waist and a warm body pressed against her back, surrounded by that sweet scent that belonged to Varric. Part of her still found it hard to believe that for once her daydreams had come true.

The other part of her, the larger part, was overjoyed.

Varric stirred a moment later, humming lightly and nuzzling Mirtai's neck.

"Good morning, Dimples." He mumbled, his voice still husky from sleep.

"Very good morning, indeed." She replied and turned around in Varric's arms, planting a light kiss on the top of his nose.

Varric hummed happily.

"If this is a dream, then I never want to wake up."

"We're dwarves, remember?" Mirtai chuckled. "We don't dream."

"Feels like a dream to me", Varric replied, "a dream come true."

"Tell me about it. I can still barely believe that this is real."

"Oh?" Varric chuckled and moved so that he was leaning over her. "Tell me then, Inquisitor Cadash, does this feel real to you?"

And then he kissed her, long and slow.

"Aye", Mirtai breathed out when they broke the kiss, "that does."

"Good, because I need you to remember that it _is_ real while I'm off to get breakfast for the two of us." Varric replied and hopped off the bed, starting to gather his clothes from the floor.

To say that Mirtai missed the warmth of his body terribly would've been a huge understatement.

"Why can't we just lie in bed the entire day?" She huffed. "Eating is so overrated anyway."

Varric laughed that pure and deep laughter of his, warming Mirtai's heart with the sound.

"I'll remind you of those words the next time you're in a bad mood because you're hungry." He laughed and gave Mirtai a quick kiss. "I'll be back soon."

"Oh, Varric", Mirtai called after the other dwarf when he was about to leave. "When are you going to sign my copy of _Hard in Hightown?_ "

"Never", he replied simply.

"What? Why?"

"In Valammar you said that as long as I have not signed that copy of yours, you're not going anywhere. I don't feel like taking my chances on the matter."

Then he disappeared down the staircase and a moment later Mirtai heard the door open and close. Though alone now, Varric's words had ignited an unquenchable flame of happiness in her heart.

"Worry not, my storyteller", she whispered to the empty room, "for I am _certainly_ not going anywhere."


End file.
